As a running gag when this blog started, I would describe myself differently every couple of weeks just for the heck of it. I couldn't sustain the gimmick, so for posterity here're the myriad ways I've described myself in Brain Drain's early months:
- Brian is currently off saving the world. However, if you happen to be young, female and fairly attractive, do drop him a line. The world can wait.
- Brian insists that he is overweight because of his clothes. When it was in vogue in the ‘90s, he bought a lot of baggy clothing to keep with the times, and insists that his body has merely grown into those clothes. Nobody believes him.
- Brian was recently seen running through the streets of South San Francisco wearing nothing but a red cape and a leopard-skin leotard. Okay, that’s a lie, but it sure got your attention.
- Brian graduated from the University of Asia and the Pacific in 2002. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in the Humanities, a Master’s Degree in Political Economy and is currently pursuing a PhD in Economics from Fordham University in New York.
- Briancantstanditwhenpeoplehavenoappreciationforappropriatepunctuationjusttoprovehispointwrotethissothere
- .sdrawkcab dlrow eht tuoba skniht nairB ,yllanoisaccO
- Brian has lived in Manila, Singapore, New York and (occasionally) San Francisco. In truth, he enjoys traveling to see the great variety of indoors that the world has to offer.
- Brian is not lazy. It’s just that his marginal utility of effort decreases at an increasing rate.
- Brian has learned that the optimal profile length for maximum readership (spaces included) is 115 characters lo
- Brian has clicked on his profile 112 times. This makes him wonder: who was that other person that clicked on the profile?
- Brian has a brother who is a strange carrot. He (the carrot) occasionally ponders yellow elephants and is prone to staring at a computer screen for hours on end. When this occurs, the only signs of life emanating from said carrot are occasional bouts of laughter (from what is being viewed onscreen) as well as the occasional twitch of the forefinger on the mouse. It’s true.
- Brian thinks that the words effervescence, parvenu and onomatopoeia are cool. Not that he knows what they mean. If he did, he might not find them cool at all.
- Brian's favorite cereal is Kellog's Corn Pops, which he eats without milk. It is his favorite for no other reason than his parents like it, too. He loves his parents. He doesn't much like milk. In fact, he doesn't eat any cereal with milk. He drinks coffee with milk, though, yes he does.
- After a thorough examination, it was determined that Brian owns exactly 13.86 pairs of shoes. Don't ask.
- Brian is 6’5” tall, with blond hair and blue eyes. He is athletic, enjoys poetry and makes it a point to leisurely watch sunsets. He speaks French fluently. He is also an inveterate liar.
- Brian writes the occasional review of books or technology in the hope that someone would start sending him free stuff to review. It could happen.
- Brian is of the considered opinion that all people engage in some form of regular daydreaming. Yet, whereas most people imagine themselves celebrities, beauty queens or superheroes, Brian imagines himself smart, witty and charming. At least he’s never imagined himself a beauty queen. That's just not right.
- Brian likes to live life in the fast lane. You’ve probably seen him, and wondered what the hell that idiot was doing driving so slowly…
- After years of suffering through embarrassing math errors, Brian has come to the conclusion that there are only three types of people in this world: those that know how to count, and those who don’t.
- On the one hand, it disappoints Brian to no end that very few people read his blog. On the other, he can’t understand why the few who do read his blog do so. This just goes to show that Brian has no idea what he really wants. Except when he’s absolutely sure. Which he never is.
- Brian defines his life not by how far he goes but by who and how many people he can help carry along the way. Let's all hope that he's heading in the right direction.
- After eleven years of basic education, attending a fine undergraduate institution and obtaining two Master's Degrees, Brian is so well-rounded he isn't pointing in any direction.
- Brian is smarter than the average bear. This explains his predisposition towards staying indoors, keeping warm, and hibernation.
- Brian is a firm believer that things that can be done now shouldn’t be put off for later. After all, why loaf around tomorrow when one can loaf around today?
- Brian’s mom insists that he looks like Matt Damon. This is sort of kinda true, which is to say it’s not true at all, proving once again that Brian has a face only his mother can love.
- Brian attended an undergraduate institution with a strong liberal arts background in the hope this would serve as a good foundation for graduate studies in information technology. Instead, he developed an interest in philosophy that steered him towards a master’s degree in political economy. Now, he is on his way to a doctoral degree in economics. Heaven knows why.
- Brian is busy determining exactly how many fruitcakes are circulating in the Philippines this holiday season. For purely scientific reasons, of course.
- Brian does not mind being a small fish in a small pond, so long as the water's fresh and the company is interesting.
- If brevity is the soul of wit, then Brian is either soulless or witless. It’s probably the latter.
- Brian likes political philosophy but hates politics, is working towards becoming an economist but dislikes math, and is otherwise a writer without a message. Obviously, he is a very jaded young man.
- Brian is of the considered opinion that the proverbial glass is neither half-empty nor half full: there’s too much glass.
- Where the New York Times crossword is concerned, Brian will often struggle through Tuesday, leave Wednesday unfinished, remain completely hopeless from Thursday through Saturday, and complete at best two corners on Sunday. But he will always have Monday.
- Brian has yet to decide which hurts more: the crash or the burn.
- Brian secretly hopes someone famous actually reads this blog.
- Brian has arrived at the conclusion that supermodels and celebrities are beautiful so he doesn’t have to be.
- Owing to the number of years Brian has spent in school, he still tends to contemplate future career plans beginning with the words "When I grow up..."
- Brian maintains that never is merely eventually taken to its logical conclusion.
- Brian is quickly running out of humorous and self-deprecating ways of describing himself. If you have suggestions, send them in. He won't take it against you. Much.
